Men, huh? Can't live with 'em. Can't strip 'em and spank 'em. Well actually, you CAN, in this little corner of cyberspace. Around here, fully grown males are at constant risk of humiliating bare bottomed correction - hence the 'humblings' of the title.



Monday, 9 April 2012

Something Old, Something New, Someone Belted Black And Blue


Those of you familiar with the agonisingly slow pace of my output won't be surprised to hear that commissions are not really my thing. It's pretty much all I can do to maintain this blog - or pretend to - without making promises to produce other stuff on the side.

So when regular visitor QBuzz asked me about the possibility of drawing something to order, my initial reaction was, reluctantly, to decline. However, when Q further mentioned that it was to mark his upcoming wedding, the culmination of a blissful spanko relationship with his fiancee - and because he came across as such a damned nice bloke - I found it harder to resist.

Q sent me a wish list of elements to include, but was kind enough not to be too prescriptive - so I got to have some fun exercising my imagination too.

Now, like many spanking artists this isn't my first wedding - but I liked the idea of this one because it involves real people, fellow kinksters among them. The bride, the groom, their mothers and the maid of honour hopefully all bear some resemblance to their real-life counterparts. The situation, to the best of my knowledge, played out only in Q's imagination!

Warmest congratulations to both of you, QBuzz - hope you like the picture.

Saturday, 31 March 2012

For Your Consideration

Part two of the meme I mentioned in my Februrary post was the nomination of some versatile blogs and their talented owners - which I'm intrepreting to mean, blogs that I like and that you may like too. I'm going to cheat a little and limit my selection to four, else we'll be here all day - and in any case, many of my favourites had already been tagged. I hope you enjoy these, and don't forget to say hello while you're there!

First up is Contemplating The Divine, run by Servitor. In the somewhat crowded field of captioned photos, he stands out for me mainly because of his exceptional wit. It's hard to be both sexy and funny, but he pulls it off - if you'll excuse that expression - with verve. If you've ever thought to yourself, what's so clever about captioning pictures? - head on over to his blog and find out. And if you happen to share his Anne Hathaway obsession, then you're in for a treat!

Next is Rohrstock-Palast, run by Ludwig and his partner Kaelah. Not only is it unusual in that you get to see both halves of this spanking couple - but each of them writes regularly too, which makes for a suprisingly different dynamic. Their posts are fascinating, thoughtful and refreshingly frank, and they always take the time to engage with visitors and reply to comments at length.

Third is Another Country, whose owner OldFashionedGirl - let's call her OFG for short - benefits from being a professional writer. OFG's blog is unassuming and yet hugely engaging, as she muses warmly and wittily on - well, on lots of things that, if they don't already have a spanko theme, seem magically to develop one within the space of a few well-chosen words. She's also a huge fan of historical periods (the 'other country' alluded to her in the name of her blog), and is writing a novel that I'll definitely be looking out for.

Finally we've got Au fil des Jours...', which my schoolboy French sadly doesn't translate for me. But no matter - owner Stan E is perfectly bilingual and always happy to chat to British readers. He was also, I think, the first blogger ever to publish one of my pictures (along with a French version of the text); so he must be some kind of visionary ;). But seriously, he has an eye for a striking image and many of those he posts I've never seen anywhere else - which when you think about it is a rare thing. He's also an artist himself, and every now and again will treat us to one of his own works.

Now, I know what you're saying: 'Recommending other blogs is all very well, Undy. But when are you going to do some more drawing?' Well, I am - and just to prove it, here's a tiny taste of some work in progress.



What do you suppose these two women are finding so wickedly entertaining? Find out soon(ish)!

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

It's All About Me(me)

Nearly three whole months ago, the lovely Kaelah at Rohrstock-Palast was kind enough to mention this blog and its owner - hey, that's me! - as part of her contribution to the Versatile Bloggers meme. The idea of the meme is that you reveal seven little-known facts about yourself, and also nominate fifteen other blogs that impress you. Now, I'm not sure how quickly you're supposed to respond to these things, but I suspect that after three months the moment has probably passed. However since I did start to write a post at that time, and since I do need a little February filler, I thought I'd share my seven bits of Underling trivia regardless.

1. I'm a chronic insomniac and all-round night owl, and much of my drawing and writing happens at stupid o'clock. Going to bed is one of my least favourite things to do - I can easily stay up for 36 hours at a time.

2. As a kid, I used to watch Wonder Woman on TV. Even though I thought the show itself was girly rubbish, I was transfixed by the combined power of Lynda Carter's golden lasso and spangly blue hotpants. Another early crush was Lindsay Wagner, aka Jaime Sommers, aka The Bionic Woman. As a bonus, Ms Sommers was a teacher - I used to fantasise about her keeping me after class and bending me over that bionic lap. Wow, imagine a spanking from a bionic woman. That has to hurt!

3. I don't actually have any transvestite leanings, and yet I own several items of women's clothing. I've worn them all at various times as a reference for drawing. So, at the risk of puncturing any fantasies - you know those stern, hot women that populate my pictures? Every so often, that's me in a padded bra and a frock.

4. I'm musical, writing and recording songs by myself and with friends. If I ever get around to producing a full-length animation, it'll have an Underling score.

5. For my first 'proper' adult spanking, I put myself in the hands (and over the knee) of a professional - the rather wonderful Miss Shanelle. This will be news to her, since at the time I hadn't yet started blogging. Subsequently the job of warming the Underling fundament fell to enthusiastic amateurs - but you never forget your first time, and I'm glad I chose such a likeable and understanding disciplinarian. Shan, if you're reading this - thank you!

6. Since starting this blog, I've actually been spanked twice by men. And I liked it. I doubt I'd do it again, but then I'm in no hurry to be spanked again at all. Because...

7. ...finally, but perhaps most importantly - insert deep breath here - in recent weeks I've discovered the joy of The Dark Side. That's right - I have had a lovely lady across my lap, on more than one occasion. And you know what? It's wonderful. K, if you read this - thank you for showing me what I was missing. Everyone else, don't worry - I'm not about to abandon the blog for good. I love F/M art and stories, and I always will. But going forward, expect the tables to be turned every now and again!

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Another Country - Part Two

Way back in August, we left a guy called Richard standing naked in the African hotel room to which a young maid had just delivered the instrument of his correction. Now, even for a spoiled bigot like him five months is probably too long to be stood in the corner - so it's high time we found out What Richard and Emily and Dupé Did Next.

Before diving unprepared into this month's thrilling episode - actually, on re-reading it, it's something of a slow burner! - you might like to catch up on what happened in Part One.


Part Two

Dupé's mouth opened wide, but all that came out was a small, quiet "Oh." She glanced down at the limply held brush before relinquishing it to the woman, who turned it over and slapped its polished walnut back against her own palm with a satisfied smile.

"This is perfect, my dear - Dupé, isn't it?"

The maid turned her head slightly to acknowledge the question; but her eyes were already back on the shockingly naked figure in the corner, and now she found she could not look anywhere else.

"Of course you've met my husband, Richard," chuckled the Englishwoman, "although you may not recognise him from his bare backside."

The man said nothing, but stiffened visibly and seemed to press himself even further into the corner. "And I'm Emily Wallace," said the woman.

"Ma'am," was all Dupé could manage in response. She knew she was staring. But how could she not? In the nineteen summers of her sheltered upbringing, she could not remember having seen any man naked, even within her own village; and yet here was a pink-skinned Englishman stripped of all his clothes and deposited in a corner as though he were no more remarkable than a hat stand. Dupé stood transfixed.

"In or out, dear," Mrs Wallace was saying with a good-natured smile; and Dupé realised that, wavering on the threshold, she was blocking the door.

"If it helps," prompted the older woman, "and if you'd be so kind - I believe the bed needs to be remade."

Dupé knew without looking that the bed did not need remaking, that she had no reason to linger, that this was not her business. Two floors down - and yet a world away - the lobby mirror was still half covered in polish. Mr Mbulu, the housekeeper, was probably frowning at it now and wondering where Dupé was. She should get back to her duties. She should make an excuse. She should offer to come back later.

She took two steps forward into the bedroom, and Mrs Wallace closed the door behind her.

The room felt suddenly very small and very hot, and Dupé herself no longer an observer but an actress in a bizarre play that she had not rehearsed. As if in a dream, she made her way over to the couple's king-sized bed and began tugging ineffectually at the covers until Emily Wallace put a hand on her arm. "Don't worry about that, dear," she said, turning to lift a bag of market purchases from the chair next to the bed. "Please just make yourself comfortable for a few minutes. This won't take long, and then you can return the brush without the need for a second trip."

Dupé lowered herself uncertainly onto the chair - she was forbidden to sit down in the guest rooms - and waited with nervous anticipation while Emily Wallace, who was smiling and softly humming, busied herself removing more items from the bed and placing them out of the way on the floor. Dupé could only watch and wonder at the scene unfolding around her. The window was open, and she could hear one of the staff - probably William, the new boy - raking the gravel in the courtyard below while a dog barked in the distance. Just a normal afternoon, she said to herself: the staff doing their chores, the dog, and in here a man stripped and shamed in front of a servant. And made to stand just so: his outstretched elbows lifting his shoulder blades; his broad, muscular back giving way to a trim waist and then to the swell of smooth, pale buttocks untouched by the sun. His bare backside, Dupé repeated to herself giddily.

How could he just stand there, posed like a mannequin, with a strange girl in the room? His thighs were pressed tightly together as if trying to salvage some modesty, and Dupé had a startling and unbidden vision of herself stepping up behind him, delving between them and guiding them apart. If she did that, what would he do? If she... my God, if she were to turn him to face her... would he cover himself? Would he resist? The young maid pushed the thought from her mind. What had got into her? She felt a tense giggle building in her throat and bit down on her lip to stifle it.

Finally Mrs Wallace sat upon the bed, smoothed her skirt across her lap, peeled off her white silk gloves and picked up the brush once more. "Alright, Richard," she said briskly. "Let's have you."

The man flinched slightly at the sound of his name, but did not otherwise move. "With the maid here?" he said, into the corner.

"Certainly, with the maid here," replied his wife. "And if that notion embarrasses you, perhaps it will help you to think about how Dupé felt this morning when you belittled her in front of the whole restaurant."

"I'm sorry about that," mumbled Richard with obvious difficulty.

"What's that? Dupé can't hear you."

Louder this time: "I said, I'm sorry."

Emily Wallace looked sceptical. She studied her dim reflection in the varnished back of the clothes brush. "What do you think, Dupé? Do you think he's learned his lesson? Do you think after his behaviour this morning we ought to spare him the brush?" Dupé looked at the hard wood of the brush and then again at the soft white skin of the man's bottom. She remembered his explosion of rage at breakfast, how he had actually caught and held her by the wrist while he berated her over the spilled juice. Called her a little black bitch, in front of all those people. When she spoke it was as if she were listening to someone else reciting the words. "No, ma'am," she said; and then, having found her courage and unable to stop herself, "I think he should get the brush. I think he should have it hard."

The English woman laughed in delight. "Well, now. You're not such a timid little thing after all, are you? Did you hear that, Richard? Our sweet young maid believes you ought to have your behind blistered. And I'm not going to disappoint her. In fact, if you're still skulking in that corner by the time I count to ten, I'm going to invite her to come over and escort you from it."

Dupé's head swam at the very idea of fetching the man for his punishment. Her fingers gripped the arms of the chair, and she felt herself squeezing her thighs together beneath the prim uniform. Even as she told herself that she could never dare - that it was a ridiculous fantasy - she was already in her mind's eye standing next to the man, smiling at his embarrassment. She would take him by the wrist, yes, just as he had done to her not six hours ago; and he would meekly follow her to where his wife sat with the brush. And the other woman - so beautiful, so self-assured - would smile her approval.

Dupé held her breath as Emily Wallace began to count.

"One," she said. The man's knees flexed a little, but that was all.

"Two," said Mrs Wallace. "Three."

Dupé sat and bit her lip; wanting to look at the man, not wanting to look at the man. Suddenly willing the count to reach its conclusion before he gave in.

For his part, Richard Wallace's eyes were screwed tightly shut - so even had he turned his head he would have not seen the young girl's expression, somewhere between desire and disbelief, her mouth silently forming the same word over and over.

Ten.

Ten.

Ten.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Season's Beatings


Yes, I am cutting it fine for a Christmas post - but hey, it ain't over 'til the final leftover turkey sandwich has been consumed, the decorations have gone back into the understairs cupboard, and you've vacuumed the last of the pine needles out of the living room carpet.

Now, part of me hopes you've all got better things to do at this time of year than visit the blog: but to those of you still surfing the net without Great Aunt Harriet and cousin Kevin looking over your shoulder, I just wanted to say thank you for another wonderful year in 2011. Your support has meant a great deal. And regardless of who's been naughty or nice, may you and yours enjoy a peaceful and happy holiday season.

Oh, I thought you might also like a glimpse of what I'd like my true love to be sending me this Christmas.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Zero Tolerance

Evenin' all. Now this scenario is a little darker than most, so before you read on I thought I should make clear that I abhor all real-world abuse of power - yes, even by sexy female police officers. But in imagination? Well, bring it on...

Zero Tolerance
Fanta City, 2019. In the six years since its inception, the metropolis's now largest police department, F3M - popularly known as FemForce - had amassed an impressive record of success. Staffed exclusively by female officers, its origins lay in a 2013 initiative of recruiting and training all-women teams to defuse hostage and domestic violence situations. When not negotiating with criminals, the department had toured schools and colleges educating the city's youth about the perils of crime. 'Let's talk' had been its oft-derided motto, with firearms being rejected in favour of a less lethal combination of baton and extensive body armour for protection.

Meanwhile, massive budget cuts reduced traditional policing to a minimum.



F3M's original ethos was short lived: it turned out that the city's criminals were not open to reason. A more robust approach was called for, and with a track record of innovation FemForce was moved up to spearhead it.

The department's autonomy allowed it to evolve at a remarkable rate, unfettered by bureaucracy. Within three years it had outgrown its 'softly, softly' legacy and developed a fearsome reputation for zero-tolerance - some said outright ruthless - policing.

The standard-issue baton became the 'shock stick' with the addition of a cattle prod-like function, and many officers also began to carry a shortened version of the judicial cane recently introduced into men's prisons.

Over time reports began to emerge of summary corporal punishment being administered, often in front of bystanders, for petty offences like littering. Meanwhile it became routine for those arrested for more serious crimes to be publically stripped - 'to check for weapons' - before being cuffed, caned and escorted naked into the waiting police trucks; and, particularly in cases where female victims had been involved, those same trucks were taking ever longer routes back to the station.



Eventually the city mayor announced an investigation into F3M's methods, declaring them 'wholly unacceptable', but by then it was too late - the citizens, tired of rampant criminality, had already taken the new FemForce to their hearts thanks to its winning combination of efficiency, glamour and legendary exploits.

In 2017, the department's reputation had been cemented in the public consciousness by a TV news report on the apprehension of a suspected serial sex attacker. On hearing the distinctive banshee wail of F3M's sirens, the man had fled the scene and squeezed himself several feet into the end of a sewer pipe where, stuck fast and regularly doused in effluent, he had repeatedly offered a full confession in return for being allowed to give himself up to male officers. No such concession was made, and in fact it emerged later that Captain Helen Petersen had seen fit not to forward the request: her girls had worked hard to chase down their quarry, and she was not about to disappoint them by handing him over to another section.

Following a seven-hour standoff, the suspect had finally relented and let himself be extracted, stripped, hosed down and disciplined for wasting police time. His confession had come anyway, of course, so he could have saved everyone a lot of trouble - or so remarked Sargeant Lucy Wells to the assembled onlookers before she went on to administer the final 20 strokes to the man's already ravaged behind.

Rumour had it that there had followed a brief debate about who was to ride with the nude and chastened prisoner on the way to the police station, but this was unnecessary. Remarkably, once he was secured it turned out there was still enough room for a total of eight policewomen to accompany him in the back of the truck.

Perhaps it was the ensuing commotion that distracted the driver and caused her to make a series of mysterious wrong turns. It took the vehicle a full two hours to arrive at its destination.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

The Worm That Turned

Fellow Brits of a certain age will remember that national treasure of a comedy duo, The Two Ronnies. Perhaps some of my overseas friends will be familiar with them too - I'm not sure how well their TV show would have exported, given that much of the humour specifically poked fun at British manners, language and regional accents ("Fork 'andles?").

Anyway, for a while one of the programme's regular features was a daft but fun little mini-serial called The Worm That Turned. This was set well into the future - or as we now call it, next year(!) - in an England ruled entirely by women. Here the men have feminine names and are forced to wear dresses, and order is maintained by an all-female police force uniformed in improbably skimpy black vinyl. No, I'm not making this up.

Although it was played for laughs, you can probably imagine the effect that this show-within-a-show had on a very young, highly impressionable and already seriously kinked Underling - especially when (at about 4:40 in the clip I linked) the late, great Diana Dors actually ordered Ronnie Corbett to report for a state-sponsored spanking. Or at least the hint of one.

Now of course the writers of The Worm That Turned knew that part of its appeal was in catering to a certain kind of male fantasy. And although the fetish wear wouldn't have meant much to me - even then, my dream disciplinarians were everyday aunts, older sisters, teachers and nurses - it was startling to have my odd little obsessions acknowledged by a mainstream comedy show. I'd have been watching with my parents, feigning nonchalance but half expecting a big flashing arrow to appear above my head reading 'WARNING! UNHEALTHY FASCINATION!'

"Undy," my mum would have said - she never used my full name except when I was in trouble - isn't it past your bedtime?" And for once I'd probably have agreed with her, grateful to be alone with my confusing thoughts about Ms Dors, and replaying in my head those few moments of prime-time TV that still resonate to this day.

The bottom line on all of this is that I have a little illustrated fantasy, more than thirty years in gestation, to share with you shortly. It's a bit stronger than would have got past the UK TV censors in 1980, but its zero- tolerance policewomen are without question descended from those running around in The Two Ronnies - not to mention my fevered imagination - during my formative years.