The Samantha Clause

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop
The workforce of elves had been toiling non-stop
To wrap up the presents and stuff them in sacks,
No time to make small talk, no time to relax.
For perched on a chair overlooking the scene
There sat a young woman in red velveteen.
Her garb was familiar, and trimmed with white fur
And being quite short showed a whole lot of her.
For those of you asking "Where's jolly St. Nick?
And who is this red-and-white minidressed chick?"
Well, Santa retired at the end of last season -
"Lumbago," he gave as the primary reason.
"Since I put me back out it isn't the same.
This sleigh-driving lark is a young Claus's game.
I've done it for hundreds of years, give or take -
It's time I clocked off for a well-deserved break.
I'll sit in my rocker, smoke pipes and drink beer.
My daughter Samantha can take charge from here."
When news of this handover got to the elves
Those mischievous minions had said to themselves:
"Thank God that old slave-driver's hung up his sack.
This Christmas we'll lounge and we'll slouch and kick back.
We'll tell our new boss she will have to play ball.
She's only a slip of a girl, after all.
We'll all get a helping of seasonal cheer
As soon as she sees who's in charge around here."
But looks are deceiving, and elves are not smart.
"There'll be no more slacking," said Sam, "for a start!
My management style's of a different sort
With visits to lap-land for those who fall short."
The elves had all chuckled and taunted "To where?
To Lapland, you say? But we're already there!"
But then their new boss put a stop to their glee
By putting the first of them over her knee!

Have a wonderful Christmas, everyone!