Men, huh? Can't live with 'em. Can't strip 'em and spank 'em. Well actually, you CAN, in this little corner of cyberspace. Around here, fully grown males are at constant risk of humiliating bare bottomed correction - hence the 'humblings' of the title.

Saturday 29 January 2011

In The Back Room

Anyone here born within the last twenty years or so? Then let's try something. Shut your eyes a minute - actually, don't, because you'll need to read this - but imagine, if you can, a time when there weren't a zillion free spanking pictures and stories available at the click of a mouse. In fact, imagine a time when there wasn't even a mouse attached to your computer. In fact, imagine a time before there were any comput...

OK, I'm not actually that old. But I well remember the pre-internet days of spanking erotica. The furtive phone calls to premium rate numbers, to listen to recordings of bored housewives impersonating strict headmistresses. The reading and re-reading of punishment-themed passages in novels. The panicked fumbling for the VHS record button whenever I stumbled on a bit of televisual discipline. The poring over dictionaries - dictionaries, for God's sake ("verb. To strike with the open hand, esp. on the buttocks.")

Most of all, I remember occasional visits to the seedy back rooms of certain London bookshops. There I rubbed shoulders with fellow perverts (perhaps some of you among them!), all of us studiously avoiding eye contact while waiting with barely concealed impatience for access to the spanko shelves. And what treasures those shelves offered: glossy (if slightly thumbed) copies of Janus, Februs, Blushes, Kane, and as my F/M sensibilities developed, Obey, Goddess and Viper. Being specialist publications, the magazines weren't cheap, so there was the agony of trying to choose one or two that I could afford to buy. I would leave the shop with my purchases safely hidden in the classic brown paper bag, and a longing look back at those I'd had to leave on the shelves.

For those of you who are too young to remember them, these probably sound like dark times - and in some ways they were. But you know what? There was something special about those little excursions, and the scarcity of the material made it precious.

I don't know if any of those old magazines are still in print. Do any of you still buy them? Did any of my female visitors ever buy them - and if not, where did you get your kicks? It's hard to imagine there's a market for any new spanking magazine to start up now. I think that's a shame, so I thought I'd dream up my own. I had far too many ideas to fit on the cover of this one - so if you like it, maybe there'll also be a March issue :).

Finally, thanks very much to Ken and Cora for the use of their wonderful discipline slip design. It's far too small here to be appreciated - if you'd like to see the real thing, head on over to their most excellent blog. Ken is a lovely guy, and will happily email you a copy on request.


  1. Underling: What a great post! I remember so well those times. I remember reading Janus avidly, searching out the occassional f/m spanking in a sea of m/f stories. But it didn't matter, I enjoyed the whole thing. It was only reading Janus that I realised I wasn't the only one in the world with a curious interest in corporal punishment. I was only a teenager at the time . I also remember finding a femme domme magazine called Madame and being utterley amazed at the way women treated men in these stories. So fascinating to read but I never thought the domination could possibly be real. How wrong can one be? I wondere how more of us were influenced by those magazines?

  2. RM, thanks. I don't think I remember Madame, but I forgot to mention magazines like Cruella. However I was never a huge fan of the overt S & M look that many of them favoured. I think Viper was one of those that catered to my more domestic tastes (although my memory may be faulty!)

    As you say, discovering that other people liked this stuff too was a big part of the appeal - although it still took the internet to reveal just how many of us there were!

  3. Underling-
    Another fabulous picture and what a great theme. And thank you for the kind words. Its been fun sharing our forms and I truly believe that their use has resulted in many red bottoms at the hands of the Ladies of the House.

    I almost miss the magazines that used to be available, notably the Ma'am publications from Nu-West/Leda and WhAP (Women who Administer Punishment). They were later publications, but some of the best that dealt with women spanking men. But as you indicated the Internet has changed all that and we now have an almost unlimited resource.

    However, I too, has my experiences with some of the 'seedy' adult book stores. I even posted a reference to my early experiences with them in the mid 1960's (see our April 29 post from last year). We did have some of the British publications like Janus available but one my favorites from that era was 'Bizarre Life'. I still have most of the issues I purchased. Also from that era were photo sets from Irving Klaw. I remember strings attached to the walls of the stores that ran over some of the tables. The photo sets were sealed in clear plastic and attached to the strings with cloths pins. I didn't know it at the time but one of his models was the great Betty Page.

    Anyway, what a time it was and your post certainly brought back memories.

  4. I love this cover!! :) Great work!
    Yes, I recall the old phone lines... and just every once in a while you'd find someone GOOD, and pray you could get their # to get them again... !

  5. Great idea, I hope you'll continue to bring out new covers. This one though, is particularly strong - backtalk is one of my favorite (and maybe the favorite) disciplinary scenarios.

  6. What a lovely cover. Many thanks for this. I have always loved the idea of such a matter-of-fact magazine devoted to discipline.

    Sardax did some magazine covers too, and it always felt such a shame the contents could not be read.

    Thank you for your kind comment on my new blog. I wish I could draw too.

  7. Hi Underling:

    Great post! I do indeed remember those times, only instead of London I remember midtown Manhattan around 42nd and 8th Avenue. That was before the delightfully seedy grindhouse movie district was cleaned up for the theater going public. Those were indeed exciting times if not particularly technologically advanced. VHS tape was as good as it got. I remember ordering many fine films from Leda productions with titles like "Ladies Who Love To Cane". I also remember magazines with names like Whap! Ma'am, Cruella and Goddess to name a few. Then with the advent of the Internet everything changed! I still remember the grinding whoosh and ping of those early modems, waiting forever for the details of a single image to gradually fill in. Is that a leather boot slowly taking shape in the lower left hand corner of the screen? We've come a long way baby! ;-)

  8. Hello Underling,
    That's a great magazine cover. I'm thinking that "back talk" during a scolding like that will result in a very sharp slap across the face and another go round of scolding before the " main event".
    My old favorite magazine was called "Mr" and there were usually letters from readers on the topic of spanking. It was from this magazine that I learned I was not alone in my spanking fetish.
    That lady on the cover looks like one very strict disciplinarian indeed! Thanks for the trip down memory lane!


  9. Ken, thanks. Sorry I couldn't do your form more justice - I hadn't anticipated just how tiny I'd have to make it. Maybe I'll make one a central feature of a future drawing. You mentioned WhAP magazine, which has almost mythical status for me. I've never seen one 'in the flesh', but it looks terribly exciting. I haven't kept any of the old magazines I bought - took the opportunity to ditch them when I first moved in with my girlfriend!

    Weave, cheers. The phone lines I used were just linked to recordings, although I think you could also dial up and speak to a 'real' domme. Lord knows what that must have cost!

    ajr, I'll do at least one more of these. I've got ideas for other articles to use up!

  10. Servitor, hi to you. I think the Sardax covers you're referring to were all for actual magazines. I've owned some of them (e.g. The Governess). 'Matter-of-fact' F/M discipline is my favourite kind of fantasy too - it's the cornerstone of my blog. By the way, I noticed you'd left two comments very similar to one another. I guess you thought the first one hadn't gone through (has happened to me a few times) so I've only published one of them. Hope that's ok!

    HMP, you're absolutely right. Even since the internet became popular, things have moved on a long way. The wealth and quality of the material has taken huge leaps. And dialup-as-tease... I love it! :)

    JayJay, agreed that a face slap might be on the way for that young man. Maybe even a bit of mouth soaping. I'd never heard of 'Mr' magazine - I must try and track it down. This comments thread has been quite educational for me!

  11. There are still plenty of those old magazines still on the shelves. I try to get one every time that I visit the UK. Most of them do seem rather dated (sometimes even dusty), I never seem to come across a new one. There are a few very good BDSM magazines, still in print, available here in Belgium but I never see Spanking ones here.


  12. A very creative and beautiful magazine cover and an interesting post, Underling! :-)

    I haven't bought any kinky magazines, but when I started exploring my kink about 2 ½ years ago, I went to a sex store for the first time in my life and I also bought some kinky books. And that was a lot of fun!

    During a holiday trip there were two very funny incidents: I was in London with a vanilla friend and decided to look for kinky books in English. My quest led me to a little book store with an adult section downstairs. My friend decided to wait outside and so I went into the book store and downstairs alone. Unfortunately, they didn't have any interesting stuff, but it was still a lot of fun to guess what was going on in the minds of the male costumers when a rather young woman came down the stairs and started exploring the books and magazines... ;-) During the same holiday I also looked at some DVDs in another store. Unfortunately also no interesting stuff. But a few boys / young guys watched me and made comments about me being “naughty”. So, I took the next “dominatrix” DVD from the shelf in order to irritate them a bit more. I didn't have any kinky experiences at that time, it had only been some months earlier that I had read the words “erotic spanking” for the very first time. And I was more interested in playing as a bottom (I only started exploring my toppy side last year). I just thought a dominatrix DVD might irritate these guys even more. I don't think they recognized it, though. But I was enjoying myself tremendously nonetheless! ;-) Oh, and of course I also got an interesting kinky book in another store.

    Earlier all my fantasies came from spanking scenes in vanilla books and mainstream films (or at least films shown on free TV).

    Greetings from Germany,

  13. Hi Underling. thank you for this great post (and this great blog ! I wish you draw more and more in 2011)
    I remember those magazines but the few times I went to London (I'm French), I was with friends and I would never have confessed my tendencies (I still haven't). So I went into one of these shops only once, shaking like a leaf...
    I remember reading a porn magazine a friend had given to me when I was 12 yo. In it 2 or 3 stories of spanking/whipping with very little B&W pictures.... I was stunned and I have re-read it a thousand times before giving him back his magazine... There were M/F stories, but I was fantasying on F/M spanking nevertheless... And even F/Me spankings !!! Lol...
    Keep up the Good work !

  14. The old mags never really did it for me as my fantasies tend to be about being the eight year old in Mom's (or Auntie's, Grammie's, sitters', etc) control. Your cover here is much more to my taste. I've never liked pain much, strange to say, but love the thought of that authoritative woman holding me firmly, doing a little preparatory scolding and slapping, and promising me some over-her-knee time, giving me the opportunity to think about the details as she describes them and the sensations to come.

  15. That does look like a delightful magazine; just a little disappointed that the cover didn't mention any special St. Valentine's article. Maybe the March issue could depict a Woman with a flogger with a shamrock tip on it! (She's always beating his lucky charms!)Also, March is Women's History Month, so a history of Women administering punishment might be nice. --Nikto

  16. Prefectdt, thanks for the tip. I actually like the 'dated' nature of some of those magazines. They remind me of the thrill of that time when I first discovered the spanko world outside my own!

    Kaelah, lovely to see you here. I've enjoyed yours and Ludwig's blog for a long time. I know, I really should say hello every now and again! You're right that it's very rare to see a woman in the 'adult' section of the book stores - I admire your bravery. It sounds like you had fun with it. I did once think there was a young lady standing next to me when I was buying spanking magazines, and I remember feeling a mix of embarrassment and delight. Anyway, when I summoned the courage for a better glance, it turned out to be a man with long blonde hair :).

  17. Mlkklm, hi there. Thanks for the encouragement - I do hope to draw a lot more in 2011! I too used to be nervous going into those stores, although once safely behind the partition door or curtain I would relax a little. By the way, like you I'm fascinated by a variety of stern behaviour, not just spanking - hence the scolding you see in this picture. I've made a note to draw a 'corner time'-type picture in the future that I hope will appeal to you particularly :). The closest one I have right now is from a post back in April, with the two OSIRIS employees stood out in the corridor.

    DB, hiya. I like the scolding, the threats and the pain. Just lucky, I guess! ;)

    Nikto, good spot about St Valentine's Day. D'oh! Missed opportunity there for sure - although I was struggling to fit stuff on anyway. Maybe next year! I love your idea of picking up on Women's History Month, so do watch out for that one.

  18. Thanks, all, for your comments - but just a quick request. I did notice a couple of references among these to spanking of children. I let these go because they're self-referential fantasies and don't in any way condone actual spanking of kids, which I personally abhor. However, in general I'm very sensitive on this and ask you, please, to limit your comments to spanking among adults - where it belongs :).

  19. As you know, I translate in french most of the work you offered her.
    This cover's a great idea, hope to see more, every month shoud be a nice publihing rythm, no ?

  20. Stan - yes, thanks very much for all your efforts in reposting and translating my work. As to the magazine covers, monthly would be a good schedule but I'm not sure I can promise it :).

  21. Well, I'm an avowed believer that it's female bottoms that should be spanked-- okay, I didn't take a vow, but that's where I come from-- nevertheless, this seems a good place to pop in and praise your superior artwork and always clever writing, Underling!

    And yes, indeed, I remember those PreWeb days, dodging sabretooth tigers to sneak into bookstores to furtively peruse magazines with devastatingly ingenious titles like "Aching Asses."

    So, you looked up "spanking" in the dictionary, too, eh? I think everyone of us did! I've heard that story a lot!

    I'm surprised there are any more "adult bookstores" around, although most of them now are really DVD and Toy shops! The first honest-to-paddles spanking mag I bought was "Spank Hard!" from Shadow Lane, which decided early on to do its work from the Web!

    So, you dern kids need to be GRATEFUL, 'cause ya don't know how EASY ya GOT it!! (WheeEEEze, hack! kaff!)

  22. Aw, thanks for the kind words Dave - and for being brave enough to show your face in here, since I know F/M goes somewhat against your religion :).

    If it's any consolation, I've no aversion at all to spankings for women (else I wouldn't spend so much time over at your place) - it's only that they don't belong in this little corner of cyberspace!

  23. @ Underling:

    Your story about the guy with the long blonde hair is hilarious! ;-) It's great to know that you are a reader of the Rohrstockpalast. Don't worry, I don't manage to write comments on every blog, either! I should have written a comment on your blog much earlier as well.

    I really had a lot of fun when I started exploring the “adult sections” of the book and video stores. The first time I went into a sex shop with a female friend was a lot of fun, too. And I even went into a sex shop with my mum once (I think it was her first time), because I had seen a schoolgirl uniform. My mother knew about my kink and was very cool about it, so we had a lot of fun as well. I didn't buy that uniform, though, because I prefer more realistic ones. Today, Ludwig and I sometimes visit a sex shop which doesn't only have a lot of SM stuff but is specialised in toys and films for gays as well. The clerks are very nice and it's always interesting to see what kind of things they offer.

    To my mind looking for sexy things should always be fun because sexuality is something wonderful. And I don't see any reason for being ashamed of buying erotic magazines, videos, clothes or toys. But of course a certain feeling of naughtiness only adds to the fun! :-)

    Oh, and one little comment on your discussion with Dave Wolfe: Since I'm not only interested in M/F spankings as well as F/M spankings, but also into M/M (which has an even smaller number of fans than F/M I assume), I'm very glad that there is a place for each of these combinations. And your blog is definitely a great place for F/M scenarios! :-)

  24. Hiya Kaelah.

    Sounds like you have a very cool mother. Safe to say I will never visit a sex shop with mine! If you're ever over this way again and shopping for kinky reading, look me up - I'd like to come along for the ride and see how fast you can clear one of those bookshops of male customers, haha!

    I am intrigued by the whole relationship between gender/ orientation of viewers, and how that reflects in the gender pairings that they like in their spanking porn. I ran a poll a while ago that showed most of my visitors were male (no surprises there), and as you say that M/M was by far the least popular pairing - although I'm starting to understand that quite a lot of you girls are into it! Well, I'm a straight man and I really like M/M spanking, as long as I can imagine myself as M number two :).

    I remember feeling threatened by (and suppressing) my own all-male daydreams at first, because I thought of them as 'gay'. I was young and naive then. Now I don't think that spanking fantasies are necessarily aligned with sexual orientation in that sense. And even if they are, and indicate some latent bisexuality on my part, well - no problem with that. :)

  25. Oh, I missed my chance for this remark, better take it now:

    "See what the boys in the back room'll have!!"

  26. :) If you're buying, I'll have two copies of Blushes and a Janus please, Wolfie!

  27. Underling, yes my mum was really cool! Unfortunately she died much too young in 2009. But I'm very glad that she followed my first steps into the world of spanking and that she and Ludwig had at least the chance to get to know each other a bit before she died.

    Clearing bookshops of male customers would surely be fun! ;-)

    I agree with you, it seems like quite a few female kinksters are into M/M. Most of my fantasies before I started exploring the internet were non-sexual M/M scenarios. I think they mostly came from spanking scenes in vanilla books and films. Since I used to be only an observer of these scenes and there was no sex involved, it took me quite long to understand that my fascination with spanking was a part of my sexuality, something that I could actually live out for real. Today I also have M/F and F/M fantasies, but the old, non-sexual M/M scenarios are still there.

    I think I can relate to what you say about M/M as well. To my mind this is quite similar to my relationship with F/F. This combination never was a part of my fantasies, but I can for example enjoy films featuring F/F scenarios nonetheless, in case I like the storyline and the characters. I could also imagine to do a non-sexual F/F scene with trusted friends for fun (I'm only interested in sexual scenarios with my mate Ludwig, this is something that I can't imagine with anyone else, no matter whether male or female).

    But I think many men aren't as open as you about M/M and are very frightened that accepting or even liking M/M could make others think that they were gay. I'm glad that Ludwig is also quite cool about the topic. He isn't really interested in M/M scenes and he doesn't want to do such a scene, but he has no problem with watching M/M scenes and he has no problem with admitting that a certain M/M clip is beautifully filmed, that the storyline is interesting, that the chemistry between the participants is enjoyable and so on. He also had a link to a great M/M spanking paysite on his blogroll long before we met each other. To my mind this is cool and I find it very cool that you enjoy your all-male daydreams without worrying about their meaning! :-)

  28. I can remember when we drew our own pictures on the cave walls. However, I agree - in those dark times the little we managed to come by did have a greater value. I looked at my collection of mags so long and so hard I swear the photos started to fade.

  29. Definitely an interesting cover. You could have made quite a bit of money if you had done artwork in the sixties. I would have considered seriously purchasing this book, although at that time i was more inclined to buy Janus.

  30. B-P, if you'd been drawing on cave walls then I'm sure they'd be very intriguing pictures indeed. What a revelation that early man dressed not in animal skins, but in girdles and petticoats!

    Red, my drawing has improved somewhat over the years. Believe me, you wouldn't have wanted to buy anything I produced before about 1990. :)

  31. That's a great magazine cover - it makes me want to turn the page and see what comes next... Up at the top right-hand corner of this page there is the number: 494475. That's a lot of people, when you think about it. If you were a restaurant you would be driving a Lamborghini. I'll betcha Mark Zuckerberg could think of a way of linking those two truths together. I very much want to go into that magazine - as deeply and profoundly as possible.

  32. Hi OTTO. Great to see a comment from you here, and even better to note that you now have your own blog!

    I do feel blessed to be nearing half a million page views, but I don't think there's any danger of Underling's Humblings becoming the new Facebook. And given my lack of posts lately, if this were a restaurant there'd be a lot of people complaining about the wait to get served!

    Very glad you enjoyed the magazine concept too. This was supposed to be the first of several monthly issues - so much for that plan, but I do hope to produce a couple more.

  33. The thing is that art takes a really long time, doesn't it? I know I could use a couple of assistants in a heartbeat - just to keep files organized for one thing. One minute I'm watching a Flash tutorial, then I'm posing a scene, then I'm installing props, then I'm fussing with the internet, then I'm making a prop in 3DS never ends. Good thing I love it. Wickedyly time-consuming though.

  34. Judging by the large response to the magazine cover, which is about perfect BTW, I hope you are seriously at work on some brilliant content. Mother in Law and her contrite charge are portrayed excitingly, and the blurb "because I said so" is so very apt. It's all he needs to know, really. The purest of the golden rules for all little boys. Carry on, Undy.

  35. Thank you, Katlyn. I can well imagine you using those very words. :)

    Regarding content, I don't know. You may have to use your imagination. But I do have ideas for new covers that will hopefully see the light of day. Eventually!

  36. To Bad it not a real magazine...Rambo


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